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"Humor section" - Get high your emotional and physical state.
USA2017 :: Humor section :: Get high your emotional and physical state
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Humor section on USA 2017. Humor message is a message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter. The trait of appreciating and being able to express the humorous. According the religion of Middle Ages, humor is the one of the four fluids in the body whose balance was believed to determine your emotional and physical state. "The humors are blood and phlegm and yellow and black bile". Eva and Adolf. Never ending story about sweet couple, redneck and blondy.
Adolf has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $10,000 and see how each of them spends it.
The first girl goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $10,000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $10,000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
Which of the women did the Adolf eventually marry? He thinks for a while about harmony, love and meaning of life and takes the girl with the biggest tits. Her name is Eva. See picture below. Smart decision. Is it not?
Fire before reading!
Humor in Humor section on USA 2017 is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. User assumes full liabilities. The management are not liable for damages due to use or misuse. If defects are found, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorised service center in your country. Read at your own risk. Keep away from sunlight, pets, small children and fools. Two drops of brain required. Text used in these stories is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. No animals were used to test the hilarity of these stories. Don't read before and after smoking. Laughing strongly recommended and required after reading.
I feel you are ready so please welcome to read first story -
["Night Languor"] - :: Adolf's story about one of his magic night with Eva. It has been a hard night. I terribly want to sleep but I cannot. My wife, Eva, sleeps next to me. The moon romantically shines on her beautiful white porcelain-like face. She reminded me of the little kewpie dolls that little girls like to play with, but Eva's face was a bit more angled. As I kept worshipping her in her slumber with my eyes, I was aroused with a burning desire. More info about "Night Languor" →...
["Crazy English"] - :: Boxing rings are square. A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. There is no egg in eggplant. How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the other day? Where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. Why we have to write "knife" and have to read "n-i-f"? You think this is very smart? More info about "Night Languor" →...
["German English"] - :: What Adolf will make from English language. Very soon a new human language will be the official language of the world. We take English language and improve it to German thru step by step plan. In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. More info about "German English" →...
["Husband number 1"] - :: A story of death Eva's husband number 1. Before Adolf Eva has many men. A first one was John, the super millionaire from NY. One day, during a recent publicity outing, Eva sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There is no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." More info about "Husband number 1" →...
More Info about "Humor" → ↓
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USA 2017. Search page. Search Box. :: What is search? Search is the activity of looking thoroughly in order to find something or someone. Life is searching and searching is a zest of our life. When you try to locate or discover, or try to establish the existence of something, use the search box on USA 2017.
Humor section on USA 2017 :: Humor message is a message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter. The trait of appreciating and being able to express the humorous. According the religion of Middle Ages, humor is the one of the four fluids in the body whose balance was believed to determine your emotional and physical state. "The humors are blood and phlegm and yellow and black bile". Eva and Adolf. Never ending story about sweet couple, redneck and blondy.
Operation "Y" :: - Why "Y"? To make it top secreted. Let's all get up and remember something old and cool. Producer Leonid Gaidai. Super trio: Yuri Nikulin, Georg Vitcin, Evgeni Morgunov and magnificent Shurik - Aleksandr Demjanenko. MosFilm, 1965. Dear citizens! Enter high art! It's no so hard! Hang up a carpet on dry plaster! No abstraction! No modernism! Keeps walls away from dampness, and you from rheumatism! Hurry up! Don't waiting! Buy painting!
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Art Portal on USA2017. :: Art is the process and/or product of deliberately items in a special way that affects and influences our senses and emotions. It encompasses a diverse range of human creations, activities, and modes of expression, including music, literature, film, photography, sculpture, and paintings.
Books Store of the USA2017.com. Some books are free! :: The word "book" comes from Russian word "буква" (bukva means "a letter"). The Russian word "букварь" (bukvar) translates as textbook that helps young children read and write. A book is a set of printed and illustrated sheets, made of ink and paper fastened together to hinge at one side. A single sheet is called a leaf. Each side of a leaf is called a page. A book produced in electronic format is called ebook (e-book or electronic book).
Chess portal on USA2017. :: Chess is the best game over the world. Chess makes your brain work good and your soul feel happy. Chess is taught to children in schools around the world today. Many schools host chess clubs, and there are many scholastic tournaments specifically for children. Tournaments are held regularly in many countries, hosted by organizations such as the United States Chess Federation and the National Scholastic Chess Foundation. I don't think about chess as a sport, for me chess is an art.
Fun and Entertainment :: Fun portal on USA2017. Fun may be encountered in such human activities during play, recreation and even work. Fun may often have from great to little and even to no logical basis, and opinions on whether or not an activity is fun may very differ. Someone likes play chess, another one poker and both get fun during the games.
Games portal on USA 2017 :: Key components of games are rules, goals, challenge, interaction. Every game involve mental or physical stimulation, sometimes both. All games develop practical skills, serve as a form of exercise. Games perform an simulational educational, and psychological role.